These tips may work for kids who have trouble making friends »Expat Guide Turkey

These tips may work for kids who have trouble making friends »Expat Guide Turkey

If your child still prefers to play with you rather than with his friends, then something may be wrong. How can you reverse this?

Does your child have trouble making friends at school and in the garden? Would he rather play with you than with his peers? Ok but why? Is it because our daughter does not like to play with children? This is wrong, because the correct answer is: He does not know how to be a friend of children. Here is a step-by-step guide to teach your child how to be friends.

1. Try to understand what the problem is

Child behavioral health expert Kristen Eastman says: ‘If your child isn’t making friends as well as other kids the same age, we shouldn’t rush to describe them as withdrawn and shy. Go with her to the park and notice a socializing move that you find difficult while sliding on the slide or doing with other things.

Even better: you can design a game that several children play together, such as hide and seek and find the ball, catch it and analyze your child’s behavior and attitudes while playing these games with you and his friends. Does it differ at home or does it differ between children? The problem is that he is worried about his presence in society (you have an opinion of your child).

Would you rather be alone and watch the kids rather than join them during the game? (He may lack the practice of communicating with people first.) Do you make an effort not to have another baby with her while sliding down a sleigh or climbing stairs? Instead of sliding down the slide with someone behind him, it gives his turn to slide and everyone prefers to slide. (May be afraid of falling, getting injured, or getting dirty.)

Does he target the edges of the group instead of the center when running or gathering during a game? (He may have sensory integration issues. Touching it can make someone feel uncomfortable that they can’t stand it.) This list goes on, so I’m cutting it here so the article isn’t too long.

2. Do the activities

Practice meeting someone new at home with games or between the two of you. See, this is very important. A kid growing up in an apartment doesn’t know what to talk to someone his age. You have to teach them what they are talking about.

The first step is to meet. The first task. “Hi, my name is Nas, and what about your name?”

Take a teddy bear in your hand and introduce the bear to all the other toys one by one. Then have one of the other games do the same. Then ask him to do the same. Repeat this for a few days. “Hello my name is cute teddy bear what’s your name?” Make sure to ask the question at least 50 times.

The second task: to teach the first hook question to move to a more detailed conversation after learning the names. I like pink the most, right? I like to eat watermelon more, right? I like watching Momo cartoons the most, right? Among the characters Elif and her friends are the ones I love the most Selim, right? Aspect… What are the questions that are most easily asked and answered by children?

Something else: My father is a very player. We love to do puzzles together. What do you play with your dad, my dad makes very good pancakes. Do you like pancakes? We own a cat. Do you like cats after helping your child make friends and start the first topic of conversation and a lot of exercise, We come to step 3

3. Understand your child’s feelings, be an emotion coach

Especially if you have a child who is just starting school, you need to channel his feelings. Help her identify the feelings she felt at school. They don’t want to talk. You can do this through the game. A major change has occurred in the life of a child who has just started school. This is a very marginal change. and the social skills he developed in the early years of school and the role he accepted in society, and the roles that would accompany him throughout his life. So if you have a child who is just starting school, your first priority in life should be your child. Play with dolls.

Make the theme of your games the children who are just starting school. He talks directly about some of the things he went through during the match. Pretend to be a game through a game, showing you some things and some not. But while playing, he thinks, “Yeah I felt that way too, but that’s normal. This is how a pill handled this problem. I can deal with it too.” For a few weeks, do a lot of exercises at home using games like puppet theater, about possible scenarios at school: listening to lectures, going for a break, being the only child who doesn’t come with anyone during recess, or coming over. Going to the toilet in class, being hungry in class, missing her mother in class, etc…

4. Teach your child to empathize

If you want your child to have a good social environment and to make healthy and abundant bonds with their peers, teach them empathy. If there is a child in the class that no one goes to for a break, turn to him and tell him how happy he is to be the first person he talks to. Tell her how beautiful she is over and over again. Teach him to have the courage to take the first step.


When you greet a shy and shy child, talk to him, take care of him for a few breaks, he not only helps this shy child, but also becomes a faithful friend. Teach him to deal with unorthodox kids rather than the most famous person in the class. This gives him the opportunity to become the leader of his small group. It is very important for him to be in groups where he can be alpha, rather than beta next to alpha. He needs to try both in order to choose the role that will make him feel better.

5. Meet the roommate of your child who has not yet started school

Contact parents of children you meet online or at the park with their children during the day. They will feel more secure in their homes. Since all the games and room are his own, he will be the natural leader of the playgroup. Kids will meet and play with her without having to take the first step to meet the kids. This is the easiest and most effective way to teach him to play and communicate with his peers.

kids meeting

6. Teaching invitation and rejection

Teach them to invite their friends to a game or talk. Instead of feeling embarrassed and disappointed when you receive a negative response to your invitation, know that it’s not about you, it’s about him not wanting it at the moment, and there can be many reasons for that. Again, use toys for this: the bear offers the rabbit to go out to the garden to play ball during recess, and the rabbit refuses. The bear is very sad. Disappointed. He thinks no one wants to play with me… He exaggerates his sadness and disappointment.

social child

Later, after the bear is gone, the rabbit goes to the toilet. In fact, the rabbit did not play with the bear because it was peeing. But she is embarrassed to say she peed. In the next interval, the rabbit calls out to the bear this time. But this time the bear urinates. Bear does not accept. Why don’t you want to play games or is he saying you came to pee too? Bear says yes. Then he realizes why you didn’t really play with him, like… by playing games with this and many similar scenarios, teach him how to feel and what to do when he receives a negative response to invitations and invitations to the game.

7. Tell your child that it is difficult to make friends

And in order not to feel inferior, explain to her that this is normal and that there are many children with this condition.

8. Teach your child that there are different types of friendship

Teach kids that friendship isn’t a one-size-fits-all. There are many different types of friendships, just as there are many different fruits like bananas, apples, and pears.

  • Some friendships are ball-playing friendships. Some friendships are chat friendships.
  • Some friendships are friendships that help each other. Usually, she doesn’t talk much, she doesn’t play games, but when she can’t find the eraser, she comes and asks him for it.
  • Some friendships are friendships for saying hi every day.
  • Some friendships are friendships that make you smile when they see you. There is nothing wrong…

9. Teach your child to maintain existing friendships

At school, you may meet the family of a friend with whom you feel relatively close. You can invite them to your home. Spending time outside together brings them closer. One is infinitely greater than zero. If he has at least one close friend, he is more likely to communicate with other children through him.


10. Do not rush into all these operations, and do not force the child

Don’t blame the kid for not being able to do it, be careful not to hurt his confidence further when you say I’m going to motivate him.

to remember: Your kids didn’t choose to grow up in an apartment without talking and playing properly with anyone but you and their toys. This happened because of your choices and your obligations. He is not shy. Maybe he’s just a kid who doesn’t know how to do it.

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